Settling into a routine more or less now, and getting frustrated at the humdrum of life and not really knowing what exactly is going on. Finally got the date for my kidney scan, so that is one piece of good news. Shame that my pee is getting blacker by the day, and my back pain is growing worse. But I have at least finished my antibiotics now, and my meds from Georgia, and am just waiting for my urine, stool, and blood samples to come back, but will see whether anyone actually gets around to telling me the results! Yesterday was my x-ray at the hospital, so also have to wait on that now. Just wish I could get back my love for food, as I still feel pretty pants to be honest.
I know its not nice to talk about all these bodily functions, but its my reality at the moment, and the absolute bane of my life. And just so that you all appreciate how crazy this is driving me, not knowing what exactly is wrong with my kidneys and appetite, I will even post you a photo, so you can understand what life is like for me every time I pee! So haha, baa humbug! Merry Christmas to you all too!
What is making things even more frustrating is that TLG now seem to be ignoring me, although I hope that it is just because they are super busy, and I am just being paranoid. Maybe its a Georgian thing, that people do no reply to emails, but its not normal for me by British standards, and just an acknowledgment that they received my emails would be enough. It seems that they don’t even care that I have been so sick during my time with them, and now on my return, and I really feel very neglected now. I know I am being over dramatic, but this stuff is important to me at the moment. Otherwise, what is the point in my going back to Georgia, especially if I will continue to be sick, or feel undervalued? I’ve given up my living, my home, my pets, my family to teach English to kids in Georgia who couldn’t really care less. My school still thinks I am on holiday even though I was sick my whole time with them, and it seems like no one is communicating. Don’t get me wrong. I love the TLG guys, I love being in Georgia, on the whole the kids are great, and I miss my host family like crazy. But at times like this, when I am feeling sick because of something I had no control over, a little support would be nice. Instead I feel like I have to get pissy with people, just to make them realise that actually IAM NOT OK! I feel like shite, I am in pain, and I really would like to eat and drink again like a normal person! Its not funny anymore, I’m fed up of it.
I just want to know when I should go back, if I am to go back, where I will live, what will happen on my return. So many anxieties, and not a single answer! A tinsy winsy bit of TLC is all that is needed, and all will feel right in the world again. But being given the cold shoulder is completely infuriating!
I am even starting to look for a new job and place to live, since I just don’t believe that I will be going back to Georgia anymore. Very frustrated indeed! But, I really, really hope that all will work out in the end…….please….